Rain

Here I am - blogging a month after I said I was back to blogging. Somehow life has a way of just happening and blogging falls to the wayside. But I have been living life, which I'd rather do than put all my efforts in having a daily blog. Some people can do it, and that's great, but I'm still working on that discipline. :)

I may have said this before, but rainy days soothe my soul. Today has been one of those days and it has been lovely.

"Rain is grace; rain is the sky descending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life."
-John Updike

 

"Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet."

-Roger Miller

I've been learning how important our thoughts are, for our thoughts direct our actions and behaviors if we allow them too. I'm realizing the importance that Scripture plays in the "renewing of our minds." We must constantly be feeding ourselves God's truth so that we begin to think as God does.

I'm so thankful for God's blessings. I deeply wanted to return again to Mexico this summer for band camp, but did not have the money on hand to buy a ticket. I felt impressed to send out 20 appeal letters and leave it in God's hands and with His people. I had nine people respond which resulted in $550 and I bought a plane ticket for $556.91 and they still had seats on the flights that my two friends are on so we'll be able to fly back together. Why do I ever doubt God? He is amazing!

You know, we can trust Him. With everything. I remember listening to a chapel service by Mr. Aaron Profitt and he said something that I hope I never forget. It went something like this, "If we can trust God to save our soul from hell, then we can trust Him for everything else too." And we should. And I am.

As I sat out on the front porch watching the rain fall, I was reminded of a very familiar psalm. 

 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 

  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. (Ps. 23 KJV)

Back to My Blog

I'm officially back to blogging. :) I think I'm my only reader, but that is ok.

I've nearly finished up my last semester of classes at GBS, and what a jam-packed semester it has been. But I've experienced so much growth even in all the busyness. Perhaps sometime, I'll take the time to explain.

God has been so FAITHFUL to me. And He has given me so much PEACE. Peace that I don't even understand. 

Here are a couple verses that I've been memorizing recently, that have been a good companion to me this semester:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:6-7 NASB

"The Lord is good. A stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who take refuge in Him." Nahum 1:7 NASB

God's word is so powerful, so real, so alive. It is my life-long goal to learn it, follow it's principles, and allow it to change me.

Well, it's another wonderful rainy day. I find rain so peaceful, so calming. I really haven't minded the days and days of rain that we've had.

Well...I need to take a shower and then work on my sewing. Yes, I did say sewing. Believe it or not, but I have learned how to sew! :) And the cow just jumped over the moon. ;)

Balance

I sit sipping from a warm mug of vanilla chamomile tea (with a nice helping of honey), and I think.

This semester has caused me to be rather introspective at times. It seems as if I am always thinking.

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

I told someone tonight, "That's why I'm so busy, I love doing too many things."

And yet there always seems to be the endless list of possibilities in which I could partake. Church activities, flute recital, trip to New York, trip to Israel, cleaning jobs...not to mention all the things that need to be done.

So how do I do it? How can I effectively live life now when my schedule is so tight that I really don't have the time to "stop and smell the roses?"

Is there a danger of becoming overly prepared to the point that you never do what you are preparing for because there is always more preparation that can be done?

Dad gave me some wisdom tonight. He said it would be helpful if I walked to church in the bitter cold because I would be getting exercise, but it would hardly be practical. Sometimes it is hard to decipher between preparation/helpfulness and practicality/reality.

I think of the often quoted phrase, "Jesus doesn't call the qualified, but qualifies the called." I know that this doesn't give us excuse to become spiritual, lazy "bums," but I think that perhaps I'm striving to become qualified instead of following His calling. I'm trying to get ready for that big "day" when I'm finally on my own - in the "real" world; and I think I'm missing it.

It's so interesting that the word NOW keeps popping up in my head. I've claimed it as my 2011 word - the NOW year. I'm trying to learn that just because I am preparing for my future calling doesn't mean that God doesn't have a calling for me right NOW. And He does. Everyday, I interact with real, living, breathing people - some fellow believers, some not. And they probably aren't going to be in my life in that moment for which I'm "getting all prepared for." God has placed them in my life, NOW.

So what will I do?

"I'm sorry, but I happen to be in a time of preparation, and I don't have time to listen to your problems, or give counsel, or go out for a cheeseburger. My future is too important than you right now."

Lord, help.

Dear Father,

I know that You are trying to teach me some very important lessons right now. Lessons in priority. Lessons in balance. Lessons in servanthood. Lessons in your Kingdom work. Lessons in how to truly love. Lord, help me to not leave the people you have place in my life NOW by the wayside as casualties of my schedule. I want to be sensitive to Your Spirit...sensitive to Your voice that says that someone is more important than my To-Do list. But may I not slack - but continue to prepare well - but yet be willing to work, give, love, not only in my future, but NOW. Thank you Father for being my teacher.

NOW

Ok...this post is going to take me less than ten minutes, because I have other things to do, but I want to document my thoughts, because I'm afraid I'll forget them!

This is my "last" semester at GBS. "Last" because I will student-teach in the Fall of 2011, so this is my "last" of classes. Honestly, I'm so sad!! I don't want it to be over yet! Honestly, I wish I could take back the first several semesters. I would have studied and learned more. I would have saved more money. I would have practiced harder. I would have built better mentoring relationships with my awesome professors. I would have worried less. I would have not cared so much of how people think. I would have bought a big study Bible and put my Drs. Brown notes in it from my very first Bible class.

Yeah, so looking back, I have some regrets. Some things I wish I could reclaim. But I can't, so I'm not going to cry over the past, but learn for the present and the future.

I occasionally check a blog, and they had heard of an idea of coming up with one word to describe 2011. I've been thinking about this, and my word is NOW. It kind of sums up what God has been teaching me. It is so easy to get into the mindset, especially through HS and college, that I am preparing for my future. "Real life" is still "out there." I really don't need to be serious now (making habits, making wise choices, being serious about doing what's right). I'll do that when I graduate or when I get married or when I get a "real" job. Well, God and others are showing me that life is NOW. Reality is NOW. And my future is inseparably tied to my choices NOW.

NOW is the time to mature in my relationship to God.
NOW is the time to really hide God's word in my heart that I might not sin.
NOW is the time to really love people. Unselfishly. Like God loves.
NOW is the time to practice, and practice hard.
NOW is the time to minister, really minister.
NOW is the time to pray and fast and intercede.
NOW is the time to read good books and surround myself with good influences.
NOW is the time to develop healthy eating and exercise habits.
NOW is the time to develop self-discipline. To stop doing unnecessary things.
NOW is the time to spend with those you love.
NOW is the time to learn what you would like to learn.
NOW is the time to think positive and stop complaining.
NOW is the time to always make your bed in the morning.
NOW is the time to do your best at whatever your hand finds to do.
NOW is the time to just breathe and enjoy God's beautiful nature.
NOW is the time to LIVE!

This is how I'm feeling. I'm tired of running in the same mediocre jog. I'm ready to run - to learn all I can, to live all I can, and to love all I can.

NOW

Determined

Do you ever talk to the devil?

I don't make it a practice, but I did the other night going home. You see, I'm realizing that the devil really is like a roaring lion seeking to devour me. So I spoke out loud. I don't recall exactly what I said but something like, "You will not win this battle. You will not deceive me or cause me to be distracted. I will not allow you to let this destroy me. I will not become bitter. I will not lose my joy!"

With tears trickling down my face, I made another step in the right direction.

I am determined to overcome. Determined.

Mountains

"Let the mountains bring peace to the people..." Ps. 72:3 NASB

* All pics except for the last were taken by my father Frank Smith.*

Were it not for grace...

Sometimes it is really easy to let that feeling of hopelessness overwhelm you, especially when working with unsaved children and teens. (My friend Jo blogged about this very thing just a few days ago.) It seems so unlikely that these kids will ever accept Christ and live for Him. Their lives are so completely different from my teenager life that I just lived merely a few years ago. But, yet, they are just the same. They are wanting to feel accepted by their friends. They're are trying to figure who they really are on the inside. Ultimately, I think they do want to do the right thing. But how do we get them across "the bridge." How do we get them to see that it isn't about going to church, but knowing the One who began "church."

D was going to come tonight, but T said she got in trouble. I asked her what happened, and she said that D had got caught stealing lip gloss from Meijer. But T, on the other hand, goes to court this Friday because she hit her mom a few weeks ago and ran away from home.

I just sit and silently shake my head. I really cannot understand the lives these girls lead. But yet, they are living the life that should have been mine. I could have very easily been the one going to court Friday and the one arrested for stealing. Were it not for grace...

Lord, Is it ok that I truly don't understand Your grace and how You measure it out...I don't understand why I was born into a Christian family, went to Christian school, learned about your love at such an early age, attend a Bible College, and have accepted Your gift of salvation. I don't understand why it was me, and not them. But God, I do know that you give us ALL grace. Help me to sprinkle Your grace on the lives of those who live so differently than me. Lord, I may be the only Christian that they know - Help me to be a true Christian. May they see Jesus - His love, compassion, grace - through me.

Today was good in so many ways.

 I shall list them:

• I didn't sleep in.
• Hence, I was the first student to my 7 am class - a feat for me!
• My 2nd period class was canceled.
• My big bro took me and two others to a awesome coffee shop during the aforesaid 2nd period.
• Practice for over an hour on the piano.
• Had a good band rehearsal - LOVE the Christmas songs
• The chapter I had to read in the library really was only 1 page long; the rest of it was etudes that I can't practice in the library.
• After about 15 minutes of driving around downtown, I found the library (Walnut to Ninth) and got my books for my senior worldview seminar project.
• I took a different highway home. A nostalgic drive for sure. Reminiscing over the last year - realizing how much I'm growing/maturing. I felt an overwhelming sense of peace...
• Upon arriving home, I just sat in my driveway, reveling in the deliciously gorgeous afternoon. I think I fell asleep for a few minutes.
• And I've had the whole evening at home; it's been quite lovely.

See, it has been a good day. :) Funny, Mom said that she prayed that I'd have an exceptionally good day today...

"God's in His Heaven, and all's right with the world." - Robert Browning

It's all about Him!

"Christ must increase, and I must decrease."

Today I participated in something that was far bigger than myself, for that is truly what ministry is. There is something so incredibly powerful about singing songs, that have been chosen for over a month, which so clearly aligned with the pastor's message that it could have only been done by God.

I'm so grateful for the body of Christ. There is no higher, closer community. Complete strangers, yet they are friends. Because of our love for God, it is natural to love those who love Him too. It is encouraging to see a group of believers committed to following Christ in the future of their church. I was very honored to worship with these people today.

Pastor Johnson preached about how in the Christian life, Christ must be increasing, and our self (the un-Christ-like part of us) must be decreasing. Not that our personality or self-worth diminishes, but our plans and wishes and dreams align with God's kingdom work. We must remember our role. Especially in our weakness and "humanness," God can then prove His strength and power.

Lord, May I continue decreasing myself and increasing Your role in my life. Break me. Humble me. Take ME out of the picture, so people can see You. Truly, that is when I can effectively minister. Thank you for showing me your guidance today. I love serving You!

Saturday

It is 12:24 a.m, but it actually means it is 11:24 because Daylight Savings Time ends!

I think I've always loved Saturdays, but especially recently. With my work week only falling on M-F, Saturday is always a day off! :) It is also a family day - big breakfast around the table and then supper either at home or at a restaurant.

I slept on the couch last night by the fire. I think if I ever move from home, wherever I move to must have a fireplace (and a back porch!)

On Saturdays, I usually look my worst and try to hibernate in the house as much as possible. But alas, Dad needed me to take him to get his car from the shop, so I threw on my "Ireland" hat and submissively obeyed. I also stopped at Meijer to buy ingredients to make  citrus wassail. Yum! But, I think I'm going to look into growing cloves on my own - so expensive for such a tiny container. But how do you grow cloves? Is it a root, seeds? I really have no clue. I do want dad to check the Amish store next time he goes out there - their spices are usually more reasonable.

For one of my classes, we were assigned a paper/presentation to be done either solo or with a group. I have a love/hate relationship with group work. Sometimes it is great, other times it is a pain. I'm attempting to write a paper on ancient/Biblical harps using someone else's research and it is not the easiest thing I've ever done! But, a page is done, with probably another page or two to do.

I'm so anxious for Thanksgiving vacation and our trip into the mountains of WVa. The older I get, the more I appreciate and cherish the times when my extended family gets together. Because as Bro. Richard Miles says, "Relationships are the most important things in the world."

So very true. God give me wisdom as to which relationships I should invest in...

Tomorrow, I am singing at a revival with some friends of mine. So thankful for this awesome opportunity. I absolutely love music! :)

Oh, speaking of music, you might have noticed some new Christmas selections for your listening enjoyment. You're welcome. :)