Balance

I sit sipping from a warm mug of vanilla chamomile tea (with a nice helping of honey), and I think.

This semester has caused me to be rather introspective at times. It seems as if I am always thinking.

Thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

I told someone tonight, "That's why I'm so busy, I love doing too many things."

And yet there always seems to be the endless list of possibilities in which I could partake. Church activities, flute recital, trip to New York, trip to Israel, cleaning jobs...not to mention all the things that need to be done.

So how do I do it? How can I effectively live life now when my schedule is so tight that I really don't have the time to "stop and smell the roses?"

Is there a danger of becoming overly prepared to the point that you never do what you are preparing for because there is always more preparation that can be done?

Dad gave me some wisdom tonight. He said it would be helpful if I walked to church in the bitter cold because I would be getting exercise, but it would hardly be practical. Sometimes it is hard to decipher between preparation/helpfulness and practicality/reality.

I think of the often quoted phrase, "Jesus doesn't call the qualified, but qualifies the called." I know that this doesn't give us excuse to become spiritual, lazy "bums," but I think that perhaps I'm striving to become qualified instead of following His calling. I'm trying to get ready for that big "day" when I'm finally on my own - in the "real" world; and I think I'm missing it.

It's so interesting that the word NOW keeps popping up in my head. I've claimed it as my 2011 word - the NOW year. I'm trying to learn that just because I am preparing for my future calling doesn't mean that God doesn't have a calling for me right NOW. And He does. Everyday, I interact with real, living, breathing people - some fellow believers, some not. And they probably aren't going to be in my life in that moment for which I'm "getting all prepared for." God has placed them in my life, NOW.

So what will I do?

"I'm sorry, but I happen to be in a time of preparation, and I don't have time to listen to your problems, or give counsel, or go out for a cheeseburger. My future is too important than you right now."

Lord, help.

Dear Father,

I know that You are trying to teach me some very important lessons right now. Lessons in priority. Lessons in balance. Lessons in servanthood. Lessons in your Kingdom work. Lessons in how to truly love. Lord, help me to not leave the people you have place in my life NOW by the wayside as casualties of my schedule. I want to be sensitive to Your Spirit...sensitive to Your voice that says that someone is more important than my To-Do list. But may I not slack - but continue to prepare well - but yet be willing to work, give, love, not only in my future, but NOW. Thank you Father for being my teacher.