Why should I fear?

I'm at a piano recital for several of my kiddos. Oh, how I remember those days. So nervous...so terrified. But, how important they were. Yes, you're vulnerable...everybody's watching...but if I'd only realized that a) everybody's rooting for you and b) it's good to have the opportunity to feel those nerves and learn how to deal with them...because they certainly don't go away as you grow older.

Recently, I've been thinking about fear. Yes, not the most positive thing to feast your mind upon. But fear is incredibly real. I was listening to a preacher and she said that fear is the predominant tool Satan uses to deter and distract us from our relationship with God.

No wonder God's tells us over and over "Fear not..."

I think it's Ann Voskamp that says that fear is belief gone wrong...belief that God isn't good enough...that He's somehow not in control.

As I type that out, it's ludicrous. Fear simply should not be part of my thinking.

Thoughts...how do I stop harboring fearful thoughts? With the truth of God's Word.

God's perfect love casts out all fear. (1John 4:18)

Do I fully understand God's love for me? His never stopping, never giving up, always and forever love for me? A love that seeks my highest good? A love that may allow pain, knowing it's the only way I will ever resemble Jesus? A love that allows me to love others in ways I never thought I could? His love never changes but is always changing me.

Why then, should I fear?

My response can only be to rest, to remain in His promises. And to face each day hopeful, "hope-filled" knowing He is always working all things for my good.

He certainly has brought peace on earth.

Wisdom

"Wise men are only wise because they make their priority the seeking of Christ.

All our moments, all our waking -- all the globe is a looking glass to God, and the wise keep seeking the presence of Christ in a thousand places, because you only come to yourself when you come to Him."

- Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift

Blessings Day 30

So many blessings on this last day of November...

-warm sun
-furry kitten friends
-a stroll with sweet Grandpa and Luc
-chatting with Andrew and Lucas on the deck
-fun times during pictures
-drinking coffee
-crazy football win
-birthday celebrations
-doing dishes while listening to music
-loving on that sweet baby
-one last walk with Luc
-that starry black sky
-talking of the past, our future, God's faithfulness
-my hand in his
-living life...together

Blessings Day 29

Thankful for:
- A drive through the country with my Luc
- Spending the afternoon with sweet Rach
- That special bond between a brother and his sister
- Laughter...tears...smiles
- That long refreshing talk with a fellow teacher "Teaching is the best thing there is."
- ping-pong. ;-)
- our drive to the airport (yet another one)...talking...enjoying each other's company

Blessings Day 28

That early morning playing with my sweet cousins. "I wanna sit with you!" It was a day filled with sweet fellowship and yummy food. :)

Blessings Day 27

Today, I'm thankful for life - 25 years in fact. Thankful for the family God placed me in. Thankful for a friend who chooses me each day. Thankful we all spent the evening together.

Blessings Day 26

Thankful for great kiddos, fun learning experiences, finished tasks, Christmas music, twinkly lights, yummy food, and His ever-near presence.

Blessings Day 25

I'm thankful for the ability to work...to give back...to serve...to help bring order to chaos.

Blessings Day 24

Wow...the book of Haggai. God's word ALWAYS speaks.

Blessings Day 23

I'm thankful for the beauty of music, and the instant community and connection it gives.

Blessings Day 22

I'm thankful for:
- a long drive with my brother
- music played passionately
- soloists who "live" their music
- cozy fellowship
- the ability to serve, even if it's just doing dishes

Blessings Day 21

Thankful...
- for the soft pretzel and Cherry Coke Mom and I shared
- for a boyfriend who listens and offers logical solutions
- that I get to be with him in 6 days!!!
- that my students' parents are wonderful and tomorrow will go great
- for joyful peace Jesus gives

Blessings Day 20

I'm thankful for the little boy who came back to get his thankful turkey craft while several others had left/forgotten theirs.

Blessings Day 19

I'm thankful for this boy. God has really been teaching me a lot through him. Today he said that he loves cursive and loves school now. Made this teacher's heart happy.

Blessings Day 18

I loved my drive with Andrew through horrendous traffic. We chatted, I ate Chipotle...I love being with him.

Blessings Day 17

I'm thankful for the passionate, steely faithfulness of some staff and faculty at my college. I was blessed to worship with them.

Blessings Day 16

I'm thankful for my sweet brother and my dear friend, Rachelle. Great memories...middle school play, coffee shops, Christmas lights, good conversation...a wonderful evening. Oh, and I read a gracious email from my boyfriend. He shows Jesus to me. So blessed...

Blessings Day 15

I'm thankful for Bible Verse test days. I get to meet with each one of my kids, one-on-one, and hear them recite God's Word. Wow. Today I heard 15 times, "For the LORD is good, His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations" (Psalm 100:5). God knew I needed that reminder.

Blessings Day 14

I'm thankful for the little gravelly voice that said, "I like your sweater." :) I know God is working in this little life. Lord, help me show your love.

Blessings Day 13

I'm thankful for the privilege to share truth from God's word. I'm thankful that Bible stories are still captivating to this generation (and will always be!). I'm thankful for kind "thank you's" and two helpful girls.

Blessings Day 12

I'm thankful for God's faithful molding of me. Romans 8:28 is absolutely true. What hope I have in Jesus! I'm not who I used to be!

Blessings Day 11

I'm thankful to live in a country where I can teach my kids about Jesus, and they can sing about Jesus at the nursing home. The kids sang their little hearts out. :) Thankful for those who have sacrificed everything for our freedoms. Also, what a sweet boyfriend I have! He called to see if I survived my Monday. Love his unexpected phone calls! ;-) I love the scheduled ones too. But, I'm digressing... ;)

Blessings Day 10

I'm thankful for my Aunt Brenda. She's always willing to help me organize my life and immediately take care of problems. She always makes me feel loved because of the interest she takes in whatever is worrying me at the moment. I appreciate her so much!

Blessings Day 9

I'm thankful for our wood-burning stove. I love hearing the fan kick on, watching the dancing flames, and feeling the warmth. Lots of good memories by this stove. :)

Blessings Day 8

Thankful for Friday, medium steak, coffee for supper, twelve weeks behind me, and my sweet parents.

Blessings Day 7

Tonight I'm thankful for Thursday nights, one of the nights when Lucas calls. Whether we are laughing over children's antics, frustrated at sneaky rodents, discussing holiday plans, gaining wisdom from married couples, or praying over burdens, I deeply treasure these times spent together. So very thankful for this man!

Blessings Day 6

I'm thankful that my kids love to read books! Warms my heart!

Blessings Day 5

Today, I'm so thankful for the privilege to vote. There is something special about shaking a candidate's hand and telling him, "I came to vote for you today!" I'm glad I live in a free country where my voice matters.

Blessings Day 4

God has recently fulfilled dream of mine - to be a part of a small group. I'm so thankful for how God has brought the four of us together. We're all in somewhat different stages of life, but it's so encouraging to have a safe place to share, seek advice, and pray for each other.

Blessings Day 3

I'm thankful for everything this table represents - community, security, good food, laughter, fellowship, and peace.

Blessings Day 2

I enjoyed the beautiful sunrise on the way to work at a dear widow's house. I'm thankful for light and the change it makes.

Blessings Day 1

Beautiful, glorious trees showing their true colors. I'm thankful for God's beauty that surrounds me.

"Surrender in Obedience"

Posting this as a reminder to myself... an excellent truth from C.S. Lewis' book The Problem of Pain.

"But when we have said that God commands things only because they are good, we must add that one of the things intrinsically good is that rational creatures should freely surrender themselves to their Creator in obedience. The content of our obedience -- the thing we are commanded to do -- will always be something intrinsically good, something we ought to do even if (by an impossible supposition) God had not commanded it. But in addition to the content, the mere obeying is also intrinsically good, for, in obeying, a rational creature consciously enacts its creaturely role, reverses the act by which we fell, treads Adam's dance backward, and returns."

Grace Gifts

-- waking up from a sweet dream of him

-- teaching about manna ... God always provides what we need!

-- the joy of reading a book together

-- beautiful, sunny, fall weather

-- a walk in the park with a dear friend

-- that Harvest Wheatberry Turkey Salad

-- black raspberry chip ice cream

-- the drive home listening to beautiful music

-- His strength is always perfect

I Choose Communion

Ann's blog was so so good today. Just what my heart needed after an especially rowdy, talkative, "self-focused" day. So forgive me for blatantly copying and pasting, but I need this truth tonight!

"A million little things will happen this week — and there are always really only Two Choices:  You get to decide whether you want to Complain.  Or whether you want Communion.
Life’s complicated. That’s clarity:  Complain… or Communion.

Your Reality in Christ is that you’re 100% saved, redeemed, accepted, carried, cared for, watched over, provided for, comforted, loved. Christ isn’t just sort of for you, Christ is 100% for you – your Reality is 100% safe in Him.

As for expectations — your expectations have a direct correlation on your irritations. The higher your expectations, the greater your irritations.

Mama’s watching the girls run down the shore and she’s about told it to me as many times as the waves keep lapping the shore:  Expectations kill relationships.

Your Expectations in Christ are that you don’t deserve anything, can’t earn anything, don’t merit anything — your expectations are 0% in and of the flesh. It’s all grace.

The formula for life turns out to be blessedly simple:

Reality in Christ (1oo%) – Expectations (0%) = A Happiness — that has nothing to do with what Happens

The waves just keep coming and they can."

 I'm weak. I'm small. I never have all the answers. But when I commune with Him...when I invite Him in...when I'm led by Him, I'm strong. He's enough. His truth will prevail. And that deep joy resides through waves or storm.

My heart yearns for heaven

Nineteen year olds are not supposed to die in car accidents...

Jesus...our sinful world must make your heart break.

Oh for the day when all is made right...

Christ is Enough

We sang this song this morning during worship...wow. Simple but powerful words.

Colossians 2:9-10 (NASB) "For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority..."

I like this translation... "The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need." (Psalm 23:1 NCV)

The knowledge and reality of this urges me to say, "The cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back, no turning back!"

Psalm 107

Wow. Four times, four different types of people cried out to God in their distress and God moved on their behalf.

He delivered...

He saved...

He brought them out of their distresses...

When they were at their wit's end... All hope was gone... They cried out to God... And He answered.

Because God delights in redemption...buying back what only He can buy. He delights in loving His children. He delights in meeting our need.

"Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His loving kindness is everlasting."

Dependant

Blue sky...
Crisp, cool air...
Sleeping in a few more hours than I planned...
I'm enjoying the last few delicious moments of summer break.

But, shockingly enough, I'm getting excited for this new school year. I'm eerily peaceful.

I met with one of my boy's parents yesterday. What a blessing they will be! Near the end of our conversation I told them that I start the year with fear and trembling because of the great responsibility that's placed on me. I said I must look to God each moment for wisdom and guidance. I told them that I covet their prayers.

I think I'm slowly learning that I can't do this alone. Nor was I designed to...

So we have another day to fully rely on God for every need...to delight in Him...and to bless others along the way.

Since Summer Vacation Started, I Have:

• done an enormous amount of cleaning and organizing in my classroom.
• gone to Skyline and a Red's game. It was such a beautiful night hanging with friends. :)

• held my friend's newly born baby. I could have held little Braelynn all. day.

• had a picnic and took in a movie with Andrew and Rachelle. It was a happy night. My mint chocolate chip ice-cream sundae was also happy. :)

• traveled to Illinois and worked with Lucas at his music camp. What a lovely week! Lucas is absolutely incredible. I loved watching him teach and interact with the kids. He's so gifted. It was just so fun to work alongside him throughout the week. I got to play lots of piano and teach voice as well as a little piano. Who knew improv could be so fun?! I have so many happy memories from this week.  What a great start to summer!

Next trip is to Oklahoma and then back to Illinois for a wedding. :) I'm thankful for the gift of relationships with people!

Today is the First Day of June

I didn't cry yesterday on the last day of school. Actually I did cry last night at the Graduation / Awards Assembly when we stood, clapping, in honor of Ona Truesdale and Dean. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to be a part of a school that is committed to touching little lives for Christ. So, I did cry then.

Yesterday morning, before we left for our field trip, we read another chapter in History. Yes, we did school work on the last day of school. Cruel, I know! But I did give them jellybeans when they read or answered a question. That's gotta count for something!

One of our special surprises (there were several) were our very own chapter books about us! For once, I think every boy and girl were looking at the words as we read. ;) It was a sweet moment.

Ok, now I miss my kiddos. Sigh.

We had a great time on our field trip. Our group picture was blurry, there were a few small scrapes, and a stern talking to with an attitude-givin' child, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I was thinking over the past year...and really...all those frustrating behaviors, attitudes, low academic levels, my own feelings of inadequacy pale in light of this: "Did my students know that I love them and that God loves them?" That's the most important thing. Everything falls beneath that. That's good Alanna. I need to tuck that one away for next year. :)

So my summer begins. Well, I still have a day of in-service, and a few huge days of cleaning, but it is summer. I'm missing this guy a lot! He's serving Jesus in the Cayman Islands right now...spreading the joy of Jesus and music. I couldn't be more proud of him. Lord willing, I'll see him Monday night. Can't. Wait. :)

I love this pic of him and his sweet sister who I know prays for us. So blessed.

Well, I'm off to work on the laundry.

This blowing breeze is such a gift. God, thank you.