I've been wanting to post for a few days now, but haven't allowed myself the time. I just want to unload about the last few days, but I don't think I have enough time. :) And also because a certain secret lurker said that he likes to read my blog because I'm not all negative and depressed and discouraged (or something like that). lol So because of you, secret lurker, you'll be spared. :)

Actually, there are so many things I want to do (things I need to do) but I'm just getting through each day - doing what has to be done (and sometimes not doing it my best) and I'm not sure how to right my world right now.

I need God's joy, my strength. Meredith and Sam's words in Hermeneutics were very timely for my thirsty soul. I need to rejoice, pray continually, and give thanks - for this is God's will (1 Thess. 5:16-18).

Father - I need you right now. My life is so busy and cluttered right now and I'm not really sure what to do about it, frankly. But I will rejoice in You - in who You are. You never grow weary, faint, or stumble. Be my rock and stronghold. Keep me from falling. Help me to cultivate a subconsciousness of prayer - so that I'm always relying on You. Thank you for salvation, love, grace. Thank you for being my Father, and knowing all about me, and still loving me. Help me to reflect and magnify You. I need you Father.

JESUS

was whose name I cried as I opened my eyes and saw that I was nearly in the path of an oncoming car. (Sigh) It shook me up a bit. I've got to do better. I have to get more sleep.

A Diversion

Well, I was typing notes for Christian Beliefs, but I had to ask: Anybody out there enjoy crackers (like Ritz or Saltines) with mustard on them? This was a snack I grew up on. Mom would always write little letters, shapes, or curlie-cues (sp?) with the mustard and that would be my after-school snack. Just curious if anyone else enjoys this snack?

Ok, back to my notes. :)

Life is a little off-kilter right now! :)

Wilberforce: Billy, no one of our age has ever taken power.

Pitt: Which is why we are too young to realize that certain things are impossible, so we will do them anyway.

I've been meaning to post this quote since I saw Amazing Grace the Movie. Powerful quote and powerful movie.

One more powerful thought. God's gift of salvation is so simple. I was watching the Open Campaigner's doing the academy's chapel today and was struck by how simple salvation is. Not cheap, that is not what I said - simple. Not complicated, not mysterious, not sophisticated - simple enough for children to understand. Wow.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Mark 10:15 NIV

This Week in Words

Monday - (not necessarily in chronological order) - traffic. fruit. laughs.biology. library. late meeting. sleep. homework.

Tuesday - classes. car. Panera. disappointment. tears. resolve. God's strength. peace. help. change. sleep.

Wednesday - flute. classes. long nap. Queen Esther. forgotten leaves. precious kids. help from above. my passion.

Thursday - big day. stress. Hector & Evangeline. inspiration. goal. vision. 1:30p.m. spraypaint. construction paper. styraphoam. Chipotle. sugary tea. chaperones. exhaustion. the Boss. cotton. hot glue. decisions. direction. teamwork. sore. clothes. sleep.

Friday - judgment day. flute. smiles. Eden park. bugs. choir. lunch. Oswald Chambers. Hollywood. lost. Grapes of Wrath. corner. library. bean bags. sleep. clothes. tuner. frustration. baton. rhythm. proud. examples. yo-yo. people. walking taco. money. familiar faces. longtime friends. dress-up. a glance. cleanup. recycling. tallying. exhaustion. drive. stars. hot shower. sleep.

Saturday - muffin. Panera. strawberry smoothie. library. Chipotle. Ephesians. magazines. sleep. textbook. Stuart Little. Red Robin. Florida. soon sleep.

Musings on this Week

This week has been crazy. I've been running almost non-stop. Been going to bed way too late, so consequently I can't think right. Struggled with feelings of loneliness, discouragement, inadequacy -- all that stuff. I know it's just because I'm super tired and stressed and don't see how it's all going to work out in the end. Work has been stressful - new manager - too many hours. It's just been a weird week.

But, you know, God has still been incredibly faithful. I was feeling pretty down Tuesday morning, and I just cried out to Him and praised Him for all He's done, and shared with Him my struggles, and He came in such a sweet way reassuring me of His love and mercy and grace.

And today, God enlightened me on an issue. Perhaps my discouragement is because my expectations and wishes - don't seem to be getting met. And God seemed to say, "What if this isn't what I want for you right now?" And it just hit me like a ton of bricks - duh - yeah, this is what I'm dreaming/hoping might happen, but what if it is totally not in God's plan? This may seem juvenille, but it was very eye-opening to me. I need to work on aligning my thoughts/wishes/dreams to God's will, whatever that might be, and trusting Him because I know His ways are higher than my ways, and He is eternally looking out for my good. Wow! What an awesome God!

So, God is helping me out of this hole. Need to put some order back into my life. Focus on my priorities - things are looking up.

P.S. One bright spot of this whole week: I'm going to Ireland by God's grace and help!

Mountains

Who: Frank, Charlotte, Alanna, and Andrew and Marty (dad's brother), Tammy, Leanna, Emily, and Abby
What: Family Getaway
When: Friday, September 19 - Sunday, September 21
Where: Smokey Mountains, TN
What happened: Galavanting around Cades Cove, wading in the creek, some hiking and walking, playing games, chatting, playing music, eating, enjoying God's nature, and just being together.
The evidence: See pictures below :)

Why I'm glad I've been w/o power for 3 days:

• a week off from school!
• about 9 hrs. of extra work time at Panera
• lots of chum time with my brother - we said we liked the power being out. We ate together, read together, talked with each other - just enjoyed being together.
• I'm now really really thankful for warm water. Andrew laughed at my screams as I took a cold shower yesterday.
• We talked with one of our neighbors more than we have in a long time. It's amazing what happens when the TV/computer is no longer in the picture.
• We now know that we can survive with our gas/charcoal grill and propane burner. We fried bacon on the burner today for BLT's!
• I'm very thankful for friends who loaned us a generator so we could save our food in our freezer (and at times toast our bread with the toaster).
• I've gotten to enjoy lots and lots of candles.
• God's power never gets shut off. He even had his bright light out for us the last couple of nights.

Why I'm thankful that we now have our power on:

• We can now go to the Smokey Mountains on Friday and not have to worry about our freezer!
• And that shower is going to feel nice too. :)

A Wet Day

My Hair got wet: I was walking out of my house this morning and a very large raindrop splashed in my hair. My umbrella got wet: Katie and I walked around the Eden Park fountain, umbrellas in hand as it softly rained. My skirt/leg/foot got wet: As I was preparing to sit down at lunch, I knocked my glass of water all over my self. See - it was a wet day. And finally my tongue got wet: How, you say? A Wendy's Frosty Chocolate Shake. Wow - it hit the spot.

School is in FULL swing. I've been able to have some "friend" times - watching movies, eating out, and scrapbooking. It's been great, but now I feel the need to really buckle down and get a handle on my pile of homework! And now is the time to get started. So, alas, you probably won't be seeing too much of me the next week- gotta get around to disciplining myself. :P Honestly -another motivator is that the fam is going to the Smokeys on Friday to be with my aunt and uncle and cousins. I'm ready for a little R & R!

Wanted to leave you with some truth about God from Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer (read the book if you haven't already -- it's amazing; God is amazing!)

On God's Immutability:

"In coming to Him at any time we need not wonder whether we shall find Him in a receptive mood. He is always receptive to misery and need, as well as to love and faith. He does not keep office hours nor set aside periods when He will see no one. Neither does He change His mind about anything. Today, this moment, He feels toward His creatures, toward babies, toward the sick, the fallen, the sinful, exactly as He did when He sent His only-begotten Son into the world to die for mankind" (p. 53).

On God's Divine Omniscience:

"Our Father in heaven knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. He knew our inborn treachery, and for His own sake engaged to save us (Isa. 48:8-11). His only begotten Son, when He walked among us, felt our pains in their naked intensity of anguish. His knowledge of our afflictions and adversities is more than theoretic; it is personal, warm, and compassionate. Whatever may befall us, God knows and cares as no one else can" (p. 57).

On God's Wisdom:

"God has charged Himself with full responsibility for our eternal happiness and stands ready to take over the management of our lives the moment we turn in faith to Him" (p. 63).

"It is as if God were saying, 'What I am is all that need matter to you, for there lie your hope and your peace. I will do what I will do, and it will all come to light at last, but how I do it is my secret. Trust Me, and be not afraid.' With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures" (p. 64).

Oh - I could go on and on sharing portions that stuck out to me. Go get the book if you haven't read it! Trust me! :)

Well - I've got to get to work! Have an awesome weekend! Remember you're blessed and God loves you with an everlasting love.

My New Purchase

On Monday after working a couple of hours at her house, Aunt Brenda suggested that we go over to IKEA to see if I could find a lamp for my room. Isn't she such a cool boss? This was our find:

I absolutely love it! It was exactly what I had envisioned. A bit pricey, albeit, but it's something I'll probably keep for a long time! Just wanted to share! :)